Don’t even try to begin reading this if you have not seen Avengers: Infinity War because SPOILERS fool.
Avengers, Avengers, Avengers. More like The Capitulators. You know, this was really my issue with the last Avengers movie, and somehow, it’s been made worse by Infinity War, even though Infinity War is by far and away a better movie.
Herein lies the problem. The Superheroes of the Marvel universe, no matter how much guilt the claim to feel over the deaths that they have failed to prevent or even caused, cannot seem to grasp that like all the rest of us, sometimes they gotta sacrifice some shit. And just because they have abilities does not mean they have the discernment, understanding, foresight, knowledge, or mental strength to wield those abilities. The issue really boils down to the fact that a mediocre white man can be bitten by a spider too.
And it shows. The Avengers had an entire “civil war” because some of them thought it was necessary to regulate the way that they use their extraordinary abilities, and some of them just wanted to trust their gut. Nevermind that a bunch of colored folk from Africa died because of their guts. Nevermind that in every movie they are smashing cars, buildings, and presumably people like Legos. No, it was just TEW much for an incredibly powerful and dangerous person who may make a bad decision at any given moment to sit her ass at home and not kill anyone. Whew.
So, enter Infinity War. Where, in basically every scene, characters are forced to make choices between the folks they hold dear and basically everybody else. And they choose wrong, wrong, and wrong again. At one point, a character even has the nerve to tout the line, “we don’t trade lives.” But, actually, you do. The entire history of the [white] world has been built on the trade of lives, any and all lives, for theirs.
They gladly brought Vision to Wakanda, and let Wakandan warriors lay down their lives to alien praying-mantis dogs…but when it came to killing an android (not even a real damn person), we got all this crying and equivocating until the last minute and well, you saw what happened. In this first 30 minutes of the movie, I was like, GIRL IF YOU DON’T BLAST THAT NINJA AND DESTROY THAT DAMN STONE, I’MA SLAP YOUR ASS RIGHT TO SLEEP. She better be happy she got cremated before I could get a hold to her, because I’m still mad.
But it wasn’t just Wanda. No one, and I mean no one, made good decisions throughout this damn movie. Somehow, the movie was good despite the fact that at every turn, the superheroes who have ordained themselves as the ones supposed to keep us safe decided, “f*ck the other half of the universe, I finally mess with my brother so let me just give ole dude the tesseract.” Fa real?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?! How many times in Avengers: Infinity War did white people decide that their life or the life of some other homie was more important than 1/2 of all the lives in the entire universe? Well:
- Loki, the same dude who has tried to kill Thor in basically every movie he has appeared in thus far, suddenly decided that he didn’t want to let Thor die…I guess because he wasn’t going to be the one to kill him. Bye, Loki.
- Wanda didn’t want to take Vision out because she love him. Well, damn, I love a lot of people, why they gotta die for Vision, Wanda?! Why? Tell me whyyyyyyyy.
- Star-Lord didn’t want to kill Gamora even after he promised her to. First of all, when did they get all lovey dovey because I feel like in the last movie, they kind of was feeling each other, but it was still very much in the tentative “wyd” text phase. Now all of the sudden they love each other more than anything? Huh? On top of the fact that he made a plan and then messed up his own plan by going all 90s R&B song on Thanos.
- But really, my real issue is that Gamora didn’t want to kill herself (yes, I include her in this list of sh!t white people do because even though she is played by a Black woman, they painted her green, so clearly we ain’t gotta claim her). She could have been killed her damn self if she knew she was really that weak. But she didn’t and don’t give me the whole, “but she tried to!” Because you’re going to get back a too little, too late. You know that this man Thanos is about to be capable of altering reality and you wait until you face him to do the things that you should have done way before. Same with Star-Lord. You suck.
- I’m not finished with Gamora, because her ass also didn’t want to let her play sister die, even though they didn’t even like each other until halfway through the last movie. I mean, weren’t they trying to kill each other just about a minute ago? But now half the universe gotta be toast because she was being tortured?! Well, bish, we all gotta make sacrifices at some point.
- Now, this one is potentially forgivable, but I will still put it out there – Dr. Strange didn’t want to let Tony Stark die (yes, I’m positive that he was the only one on this list who had a method to his madness, having seen all the possible futures, but still!). Now, this is already after Strange didn’t want to take any measures whatsoever to protect the time stone outside of conjure up some fire circles, so I was already heated.
Okay, is I finished or is I done? I’m almost done. I just wanna say to please put some respeck on the names of the HALF OF THE UNIVERSE THAT IS ABOUT TO DIE BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO MAKE A TOUGH DECISION.
And don’t even get me started on how we know, even though thou producers doth protest too much that the character deaths will be permanent, that time is gonna be rewound and folks are going to come back. Because that’s the whole problem with Marvel. The characters get rewarded for bad behavior and all of their failures and terrible choices are absolved, forgiven, and consequences rewound.
I wish my life was like that.